The great thing about this cosmic ordering malarky is that rather than just running after your dream, it makes you look at yourself in a different light and analyse why things have turned out how they have and why your dreams are just that. Dreams.
The next step after having consciously decided exactly what you want and realising that daydreaming and desires are not doing something is to rid yourself of all negativity. This gets interesting. And hard.
Why do we all hate on ourselves so much? I remember reading somewhere once that you should talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend. Would you really beat someone else up as much as you do yourself? Unless you’re super mean, I’m sure the answer is no. It’s horrible isn’t it?! Next time you’re telling yourself how useless you are, stop and think about it. I’m pretty sure if we talked like that to other people, we’d have no friends.
“Words are like seeds. Nurture the beautiful ones and watch for unwanted weeds creeping in.” – Dennis Noble
For so long I have told myself that I can’t be a singer. Doesn’t matter that I want it like nothing else. I can’t do it. Here is why. My ‘seeds’. That I have given way too much water for far too long.
- Too fat
- Too ugly
- Not as good as Nina Simone, Aretha Franklin, Beyoncé etc etc
- Too shy
- Everybody will laugh at me
- Absolutely not cool enough
- Too technologically stupid
- Waaaaay too old
- I have children
Reading through that list, I’m feeling pretty embarrassed and stupid. But I’m going to leave it there because those, however ridiculous, have been my thoughts. By sharing them, I’m calling them out, showing them I have power over them now and hopefully inspiring you to do the same. I really recommend writing your own list, sharing it with someone you trust and realising that yours too are hideous.
Before, I thought to myself, I can’t sing publicly until I’m as good as any of my hero singers. Haaaaaa! I’ll be waiting my whole life to be as good as Nina Simone. A piece of advice that my step father inadvertently gave to me was that there will always be people better than you. There will also always be people worse than you. That will never change. You can’t wait until you’re what you consider ‘the best’. You’ll be waiting forever.
Some of my seeds are true. I am too shy. It’s ridiculous. Put me on a stage and I’m shaking, I feel like I’m going to be sick and sometimes if I’m lucky words don’t actually come out of my mouth. Could make for a funny comedy channel on YouTube, but I’m aiming higher. Even though this seed is actually a fact, I’m still ripping it up. I’m planting a new seed. Confidence. I’m going to give that one plant food too.
What has this got to do with anything? Surely I should be singing and making contacts and recording etc etc? Well yeah, I’ve got to, want to and will do that. But how can I succeed if I don’t believe in myself? If I don’t think I’m worth it? How can I make somebody else believe in something I don’t even believe in. That’s crazy talk.
I think this is a massive step that is all too often missed out and will always come back to bite you. By removing all of the negative thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself and replacing them with positive and motivated ones, you’ll only attract a positive and productive life.
Dont get me wrong, this is much easier said than done! But if you really focus and really want your life to change for the better, you’ll do it. I’m doing it and I already feel so much better than a week ago. I don’t hate myself anymore. For the first time ever I believe I deserve this. Im ready to hit myself with fresh, inspiring, positive thoughts that I can and will succeed.
I am feeling both enlightened and empowered because I’m becoming more aware, more conscious of my actions and thoughts.