‘You have been taught to take care of others first. You have been told: First you have to take care of the wife or husband or the beautiful children. You have to take care of the parents and the grandparents. You have to take care of your friends and your neighbours, and you have to do all of these things before you take care of yourself. Society teaches you to sacrifice, to put others first. This is a way of keeping you out of your own power; keeping you disconnected from your own source. Make a stronger commitment to yourself. Put yourself first. Before all others, take care of yourself. Before the wife or the husband, before the beautiful children, before your parents. Put yourself first. Take care of yourself. Live your own truth and things will start changing in your life.’
– The Cosmic Ordering Service, Barbel Mohr
I missed Day #21. On top of the normal workload, I took on an extra job working on a bar at a festival. It made sense. We need the money. But my God. Our house. This week. The neighbours must think we’re (I’m..) mental. Like everything though, it got me thinking.
The way our society is set up, it is all too easy to become stressed, exhausted and uninspired. Even writing this now, I could quite easily close my eyes and sleep. That’s not going to get me anywhere though. I’ve fallen into that trap before. It’s not having me again. We all have responsibilities and duties that we choose to adhere to, but what has become really clear to me this week, is that we need to make sure we’re prioritising ourselves first. So often I find myself surrounded by people all asking for help – both emotionally and physically – and by the time I’m finished I don’t have the energy to look at my own life. Sort my own things out. Do what’s important to me. My time seems to be at the mercy of everyone around me. The people I want to see and the things I want to do are at the bottom of an endless list of things I must do for other people. We’ve been taught to take care of everything and everybody else first. We are taught to sacrifice ourselves for others.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying ‘Be selfish’. I’m all about being the good samaritan. I think it’s super important we all work as one, together, and help each other in every way that we can. I see a difference now though. Helping others doesn’t mean not helping yourself. There doesn’t need to be that self sacrifice involved. Imagine you’re on a sinking boat. You put your own life jacket on first right? Then help others. If you didn’t have your own life jacket on first, you might save a few people but you’re probably going to drown. You can help other people, just don’t sink in the process. By putting yourself first and then helping others instead of vice versa, you’ll find yourself a lot happier. When we are constantly working for other people, helping other people achieve their dreams and needs, ignoring our own, we build up a lot of resentment and anger and frustration. Nobody wins. The people we love become people we resent. Those feelings are not conducive for a happy life. If you’re not happy, how are you going to attract good things and work in a positive manner? You ain’t. Commit to yourself and your aspirations. Use your energy wisely. Put yourself first. This will make you full of joy so when it comes to helping others, your joy will overflow. You’ll feel happy to help. There will be no more resentment or frustration. That’s real service.
Put yourself first and see the shift.
Make a stronger commitment to yourself.