Day #83 – Motivation

True that.

True that.


Gahhhhhhh it is so hard to stay motivated sometimes.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have bothered continuing with my music dream. I’ve vaguely tried singing before. I ran away from it. It was too hard. Too scary. Too much. The fact that I sort of publicly broadcast my ambition is pretty much the only thing keeping me on track now. I feel like I can’t quit or fail because I’m busy preaching how we can all get what we want. If I quit, I think I’d feel quite crushed. If my theory doesn’t work, well, what else is there? What would I do then? It scares me. This has to work. But it doesn’t make it any easier….

Finding the ‘right’ time to sit down and write is my biggest issue. We have 3 children. Two of them are under 3. They’re intense little buggers. It’s actually an impossibility whilst looking after them to do anything else. I’ve just started having regular showers again. That in itself feels like a luxury. My boyfriend gets time priority during the day, for obvious reasons, he’s bringing home the bacon. My little project. My hobby. It’s not bringing in anything so I have to fit it in. Around 3 children. A boyfriend. A house. A cat. And a rabbit. It doesn’t matter how important this is to me. I have to accept that for now. You wait ’til I’m bringing home the bacon. But it’s still hard to deal with, even if I know that’s the truth of the situation. I have to write in the evenings. Once everyone is asleep. It’s usually at least 9.30pm before I’m being productive and my mind feels in any sort of creative state. If I’m tired, I sit here and procrastinate for a while. Think of valid reasons why I shouldn’t write. Sometimes I feel like punching myself in the head and screaming I can’t do this! All whilst the cat is attacking my feet, biting my big toe, under the table. Honestly, God, if you’re up there. I think I’ve been tested enough. Please and thank you.

If I want to succeed though, I HAVE to find motivation out of that. That’s my situation. It’s not going to change. Even if I quit this, it wouldn’t change. Perhaps I’d just be watching TV in the evening instead. Or drinking some wine. I’d be drinking a lot of wine, to numb the feeling of failure. My big toe is still going to get bit and neither of those activities are going to bring me closer to what I want. It’s the same for you too. Your situation will remain the same until you change what you do every day. I am reading an amazing book called ‘The War of Art’ by Steven Pressfield at the moment. Esquire said that it was a kick in the ass. I sort of agree. Thank you Mr. Weavepocket. It’s keeping me going.

What I’ve found to help over the past few weeks is to keep your goal in mind. If you’ve been really specific about your desired outcome it’s easy. If you’re having a bad day, considering putting things off until tomorrow, procrastinating or thinking negatively, just think about the outcome. If you put off until tomorrow what are you going to acheive? Nothing. You’ll be in exactly the same situation tomorrow. That’s if tomorrow even comes. If you do it now, you’re moving forwards. What you have your sights on is one step closer. How important is that to you? Prove it. Do it. Even if you can only manage a fairy step today. It’s a step.

Set aside some time. If I can find some, you sure as hell can too. Now use it. Even if you don’t feel like it. You don’t want to. You’re not in the mood. Use the time you’ve set aside. Even if what you produce is rubbish, at least you’ve produced something. You have to do this again and again and again, until your mind and body get into a new pattern. That you work regardless of being inspired. Regardless of feeling motivated. Regardless if there is something better you would like to be doing. Learn new habits. Dedicate yourself to your work. It’s the only road to success.

That apparently is the difference between an amateur and a pro. Play for keeps X





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2 responses to “Day #83 – Motivation

  1. Seems you are aware of your fears & have the strength to face them full on….combine that with your voice and you will fly!! xx


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