Day #99 – You created this mess.

It’s still about responsibility.

In my last post I talked about this on a global level. Well let’s look at our lack of responsibility on a personal level… It’ll probably get ugly.

How many times in the day do you think ‘Why is this so hard?’ or ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ or ‘Life is so much easier for that person..’ It’s pretty common when you’re having a bad day. You feel sorry for yourself, feel hopeless. You convince yourself that your circumstances are different or special in some sense. Run off a bunch of ‘reasons’ why you haven’t/couldn’t/can’t. There are things you need to be able to complete your dream. There are people who need to help you, who keep letting you down. Unexpected situations arise that hinder your progress. The list is endless. But it’s never ultimately your fault.

What if I said that all of the above reasons can’t actually hinder you? You decide what you create out of any given situation. It is always your own fault. You can always decide what you create. That’s the difference between failure and success.

When my step father died, I spent a lot of time, years, using that as the reason I was stuck in my hometown. I was mortified. If he hadn’t died then I would be free to be wherever I wanted. As a result of his death, I ‘had’ to stay at home. My mother needed me. That was the reason I wasn’t ‘succeeding’. At the same time I was having a baby. The mess I was surrounded by was too much. I couldn’t do anything now because I’d had a baby. I blamed my circumstances, things I thought I didn’t have control of. It’s a lot easier to do that.

I like my new way of thinking better. Whilst my circumstances weren’t great for a while, I made what I did out of it. I decided to stay here. I decided to be close to my mother. I decided to have a baby. I decided to put my mother and child first. I chose that and I own it. Nobody forced me. I am entirely responsible. I created it.

I have been going stir crazy. Pulling my hair out. My time management has been all over the place. It’s been driving me mad. I have lots of stuff I need to do and get on with to keep my project moving forwards and the momentum going with it. I’ve been overwhelmed. I’ve had no time. I couldn’t even make time. My personal life has been mega busy organising and doing things for other people, then I decided I must organise a protest and have been immersing myself in political news and history trying to come up with legitimate answers for why innocent children are dying. Meanwhile, my music was sailing off down the river. I didn’t feel like I had any control over it. There aren’t enough hours in a day. It’s not my fault. It’s everybody else’s etc etc etc.

Then I remembered. I created this mess.

It’s entirely my fault. Through the decisions, both big and small, important and unimportant, but through my decisions nonetheless, I have created my situation. I decided to. I wanted to. Make a list of everything that you consider is holding you back. Or things that have happened to you which you consider major factors in your life that have altered your path. Now look at that list and see what your involvement is in that. Example – the job you hate but you still do because you need the money. That’s your decision. Being trapped in the job is an illusion. There are other jobs. There are always options. If there’s no option, make a plan so you get to a place where you have an option. It’s not the job hindering you, it’s yourself. You’re the boss.

If we can see how easy it is to create everything we don’t want in our lives, surely we can create everything that we DO want? We can tailor make everything exactly how we want it. It gives me some hope at least.

There is no secret. No magic key. No special formula. You don’t need to know anybody special or be rich or have special tools. You just need to be willing to take responsibility for everything in your life right now and work out how to change the things that aren’t working for the better.

Break it down and create it. X

 

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