Tag Archives: career

Day #365 – The End. The beginning.

Wow. I can’t believe it’s the end of this chapter already. What a year…

Cosmic Order started as an experiment. I like playing with things. Life is supposed to be playful. I wanted to see if cosmic ordering actually worked. I wanted to see if anything really is possible  if we are brave enough. I saw so many people, including myself, stuck in the rat race, stuck doing things society said they should be doing, being something everyone else wanted them to be. I saw a lot of sad and frustrated people. I wanted to do this experiment for them as much as me. Hell, if I can do it, then we all can.

My cosmic order was that I wanted to be a singer. I wanted a record deal. I wanted the massive record deal specifically because I wanted to be earning heaps of money so I could pile it into the community. I wanted to help fix all the things our leaders and governments are ignoring. I’m so tired of seeing people sleep outside and then walking past a derelict house.

When I started I was not a singer. I was a full time mother to three young children. I’d been at home with them, doing nothing much for myself, for the best part of three years. I’d had some singing lessons and sang a handful of times on stage but mostly in secret. Nobody knew that I wanted to sing so badly or that the only thing I really ever dreamed of was working in music. It wasn’t a real job. It wasn’t realistic. It wasn’t achievable. There is a certain amount of stigma attached to non mainstream, creative careers. A sense of ‘That’s cute, but what are you really going to do? You need to get a real job’. So you can get the mortgage and picket fence and what not. I sang at home. All the time. The minute the house was empty, from the age of fifteen, I sang to the walls. I tried to want to do other things. I studied an array of different subjects and industries, both creative and academic. None of them stuck. None of them will ever stick. Because I want to sing and work in music. It is, was and always will be music. I feel better since being honest.

I had no idea how this was going to pan out. I was terrified that I’d shared my dreams. I was terrified that I was going to get laughed at. I was terrified that I was going to fail. Or look stupid. I had no confidence in myself or my abilities. I wasn’t good enough. I had not one clue how I was going to even start making music. I’d never recorded anything myself before. Computers aren’t my friends. I knew nothing. But I decided what I wanted and started walking. Whatever thought or feeling came into my head, I wrote about it and as I slowly worked through my own demons, opportunities started coming. I didn’t look for them. I didn’t think about them. They just came. I kept working on myself and working hard in the right direction and every time an opportunity came my way I said yes. I had no idea where anything would go, if anywhere, but I trusted something would come out of everything I pursued. I would learn something in every situation.

The amount that I took on this year has been insane but you know what? You’ll work hard for the things that matter to you. If you don’t, you don’t want it enough. I did a lot of personal development work as a result of the cosmic ordering research I was doing. The more I read, the more I learnt. Anything IS possible and there is beauty and love everywhere, sitting waiting to lavish us if only we would see it. We can all lead the lives we want to. We just need to fix ourselves and our thinking first. Life is fundamentally beautiful. Shit happens, but that fact remains. It’s not a rat race. It’s not a struggle. It’s not a battle.  We weren’t born for that. We weren’t born to live a life that somebody else thinks we should live. We weren’t born to be sad. It’s a wonderful life and it’s a gift. It’s yours.

So does cosmic ordering work? That was the question. That was the experiment. The answer is yes. Without a doubt. The law of attraction is as powerful as the law of gravity. It has worked in my life in both good ways and bad ways and I’ve observed them both. When I’ve been feeling awful and negative I attracted nothing but crap and blocks. When I felt happy and positive and open, when I believed in myself, opportunities came. All I did was say out loud, ‘I want to be a singer’ and focused on that. I didn’t sit back and wait for it to be delivered on a silver plate. Life doesn’t work like that. I got up off my arse and worked until I cried. I learnt how to use my computer (a little bit), I learnt how to record music at home, I got a job working at a music studio in return for studio time, I learnt how recording onto 8 track works. I learnt a lot about the music industry. How it works. How labels work. How actually getting a record deal isn’t the be all and end all. I’ve learnt about PR. I’ve learnt that you can do everything yourself. I started a band with one of the most talented people I have ever had the pleasure of. Last week our band Rope Store played the Norwich Arts Centre, voted the UKs best small music venue, supporting Speedometer, an incredible funk band. It was our 2nd gig. I am a singer. It works. Oh the record deal bit didn’t happen. Not yet. Maybe it won’t. Maybe it will. It doesn’t really matter. I know that I could make that bit happen if I worked hard at getting it and was clear about exactly what I want. I haven’t built shit loads of affordable housing either or solved the UKs unaffordable childcare problem. But you know, give it time. It’s time for a new order.

The most wonderful thing about this has been the unexpected opportunities and lessons life threw at me along the way. The blog reminded me how much I enjoy writing and for the last few months I’ve been writing for several online magazines, building my portfolio back up, so that I can do freelance writing alongside the music. The surprises weren’t all great. Six months in I became a single parent. Dealing with a major break up and turning solo definitely impacted my progress and had that not happened, who knows where or what I’d be doing. I almost drowned a few times. I’m not a great swimmer but my arm bands are incredible. I believe that everything happens for our greater good. I got shattered, bashed and bruised and I’ve never felt so open and broken and vulnerable in my life. I didn’t know a break up could create that much seemingly endless pain and suffering. I don’t believe it should actually. But I’ve also never felt so grateful or still. Maybe I needed that. Life is beautiful.

So that’s it! Cosmic Order is over! I’m taking off. I’ve got this bass that I have to get busy with, I’m turning this blog into a book (it’s much juicier), I’ve got some original solo material I want to work on, our band Rope Store are making little ripples and I need to go outside and shout thank you to the sky and laugh my head off with my little girls.

Thank you SO much to each and every one of you. You have no idea how grateful I am for your support. I have been absolutely over whelmed by the response I have received. Over 10,000 people from all over the world have taken the time to read my ramblings. Total strangers have emailed me with words of encouragement and it’s made me so happy that I’ve helped them in some way follow their own bliss too. Please do what makes you happy.

Mr Jason. I’ll be eternally grateful to you and EVERYTHING you have taught me and helped me with. Thank you for the ear upgrade, the corona addiction and keeping me going when shit got rough. Thank you for being such a wonderful and true friend.

I’ll be back in September with a new cosmic order and a new and improved soap box. It’s far from over. In the meantime you can follow me on twitter, instagram, Facebook.. Youtube. God social media, why are there so many of you?

Things end. Things also begin. X

Social media is all we have left! Come join the non stop party… 



http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich or http://www.twitter.com/ropestoremusic








Day #328 – Doubt.


I remember when I first started this project. How massive my dreams were. Honestly, I was embarrassed to even share them because they sounded so ridiculous. I was inexperienced, had no contacts and no method. I was so worried that I was going to get laughed at, and maybe I did, but I chucked it out there anyway. I knew what I wanted to do, more importantly why my goal had to be so big, and that’s all I thought about. I had no idea how I was going to do it. None at all. But I believed so hard it didn’t matter.

In the beginning I was so fresh and naive that I had a lot of power behind my thinking. I knew nothing about the music industry. I mean, I knew it was one of the hardest things to crack. I knew that I wished I wanted to do something easier. But I also knew I’m not interested in doing something else. When I was fresh and naive and optimistic, my vibration was high, so many music opportunities came into my life. I was so busy learning and doing music related things. Once I started to properly learn about the music industry, I started to think that my goals were not only unrealistic but perhaps crazy. People told me there’s no money in music. That you need to come to a label with followers and experience. You need to look a certain way, be a certain way… You need to be the ready made package. I heard all that. Again and again. And believed it. I’m sure it’s absolutely true. But there is no set path for anything. You have to find your own. I’m not sure collecting fans on youtube and twitter is my route. Maybe I’ll be one of the first on the new wave. Where do we even go from social media world domination and free music streaming?

The last few months have been gross. There’s no hiding it. And it’s had a massive impact on everything. On my progress. On my plans. When you’re feeling pretty fragile and vulnerable, the last thing you want to do is put yourself out there. Whilst there are so many great people, who I am eternally grateful for, who have offered me so much unconditional support and love, there are other people out there, for everybody, that want to see you fail. They want to see you crash. You need to protect yourself from that so I took some time out from the self promotion that comes hand in hand with trying to establish yourself in music. I just haven’t been able to handle it. I don’t like attention. I never have.  I know why. I’m vaguely trying to deal with it. Attention when your life is a buggering hell of a mess? Come back later.

Despite the lack of blog updating though, I’ve been so busy doing a million and one different projects. I started to panic that perhaps I should have a plan B. A back up. At least a financial one whilst I’m trying to forge a music career… So I started writing again. If I couldn’t make music for what ever reason, I guess writing would be my second choice. It felt like a wise decision. One must be sensible and wise. Be practical about how one will put food on the table and what not. I ricochet between trying with all my heart to be this sensible person who thinks things through in a pre meditated and organised manner. Being the robot society would have us believe we should be. And this terrible storm of a woman who hates the idea of being still and manages her life in a carefree, straight talking, whimsical fashion. Follow your bliss, the rest will work out. The latter is the one who pleases me the most. I am her. But when you’re surrounded by life that tells you to constantly live and be the opposite… It is so hard to stay true to your cause. I’m not sure how many times I need to be taught the same lesson. Hopefully I’ve got it now. Gemma. You will never be a good house wife. Wait, that’s not the lesson I meant to type… You don’t have to do what everybody else is doing. Beat your own drum and do it wonderfully.

If I actually believed in myself to the extent I need to, I wouldn’t need a back up. I wouldn’t need a plan B. I fell into the easiest trap. All the energy I’ve been expending on finding and applying for writing jobs, researching, reviewing, listening to and promoting other people’s music. Helping out other people fulfil their dreams and needs. I could have been recording my own demos. Or writing some new songs. Promoting myself. Why aren’t I writing to producers and asking to work with them instead of magazines?


Amid all the shit that got flown around, I started to doubt myself. It was so gradual I didn’t really even notice. First of all I started to dislike myself. Then I started to question myself. I started to believe that what I was being told about myself was true. It is not. I started caring what people thought again. I started worrying and caring about all the things I took months to unlearn. At the same time, I was justifying my doubt. I was putting all my energy into these other great things because it’s for the long haul. It shows I’m committed. It doesn’t. It shows I need a back up because I doubt that I can do this. Wrong vibrations Gemma… But guess what? Never been busier writing in my life. Why? Because I’ve been so focused and working hard at it. I love it. And I’m going to keep doing it. But the energy and relentlessness I adopted in getting writing opportunities needs to be put into music. Writing doesn’t scare me. Music does. Time for round 2.

From what I’ve said, it sounds like the music isn’t taking off. It is. In ways I couldn’t have conceived. Our band Rope Store did our first gig at Old School Studios in Norwich a few weeks ago. We have another coming up on the 18th April and we are also supporting Speedometer when they stop in Norwich on tour. We’re saving like mole rats to get our first 7” single sent off in a few weeks and planning some very exciting things… Music is happening. I just know it can happen more. My dreams are big.

My life is still a buggering hell of a mess somedays. But I learnt something. Everybody has a mess they’re dealing with. We are all in the same wonderful, beautiful boat. Some people just paint their’s a little prettier. We can’t let our individual messes and circumstances dictate whether or not we will live the life we want to. It’s nonsensical.

Wash your hands. Time to reboot. X

Here you can check out the music I’ve been making as part of Rope Store http://www.ropestore.bandcamp.com

Cover songs are here. http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich

Life in pictures – http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Life in tweets – http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich

Day #295 – Delicious ambiguity.


I’ve done gone did it again. Twenty three days of silence. Twenty three days. That’s just short of a month. Even though I know how this all works. How you have to keep going when you don’t want to. How shit happens and you have to get right back up and keep walking. How when you feel like quitting and giving everything up you have to focus even harder. I know all of that. As do you. Didn’t stop me though. I’ve been busy thought gathering.

I’m here now. For the moment. This little heart of mine is relentless. Sometimes I  wish it craved stability and normality.

I’ve been pretty stressed about everything. Think I’ve mentioned that far too many times. I’m bored of it too. I haven’t wanted to write anything. Nothing inspiring at least. Nothing I’ve wanted to share. I’m so tired of people having an opinion on what and how I’m doing things in the real world, writing has just felt like giving them more ammunition to silently fire my way. I’ve been feeling somewhat naive and stupid. Perhaps even displaced. But I guess me being quiet would make me the loser in the long run.

I’ve been stressed because things haven’t felt like they are ‘going to plan’. Things have certainly been moving and developing but not how I had planned. I had this list of things I ‘should’ be doing. How to get from A to B. How to win. I threw my list away. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to do all the things I’ve been advised I ‘should’ do to succeed. There’s been a shift.

With my new found acceptance of life came something else. Trust.

Life just isn’t something you can plan out. It’s an uncertain, ever evolving, inexplicable old thing. You can work towards things and you can have an idea of how you want everything to pan out, but as for having control on how and when that happens. I’m not sure we have all that much say in it. Spanners happen. Things don’t work out exactly how we imagined. Then what? We run around in circles searching, panicking about what to do instead. Worrying it’s not going to plan. What if we just trusted that everything is unfolding exactly as it should? Everything will be alright in the end. Weezer said so.

A friend of mine was really upset recently. They had put all of their hopes into getting this promotion at work and planned the next few years of their life around it. When it didn’t happen they were really upset. All they could see was that they were stuck on the same pay scale in the same job going nowhere and everybody around them was moving up the ladder. They mustn’t be good enough. At that moment, even though I was trying to point out that something better would come along, that it wasn’t the right position, because their ‘plan’ had failed, they couldn’t see anything else. Nothing better was going to come. There was nothing better.

They’ve just been offered a much better job. With much better prospects. Doing exactly what they wanted to do. They didn’t see it before. But it was there all along, right in front of them. Do they care about the job that didn’t happen anymore? Not so much. This is way better. It’s the same for you. Maybe this isn’t unfolding as and how you had hoped. But it’s certainly unfolding and going SOMEWHERE. Whatsoever you are doing will help you grow and see new things.

It’s easy to do with hindsight. We can look at things and say that everything happened for a reason and without each step, both positive and negative, we wouldn’t be where we are today. If we can do it with hindsight, I’m sure we can do it in the present moment too. Just trust that as you’re doing your very best and working in the right direction, it’ll all work out. It just will. And if you have no idea what direction to go in, trust that something will be put in front of you. You just have to jump with no thought of what might happen next. Even if the idea scares you to death. Keep your eyes open and ears to the ground. If what you want to work out doesn’t happen as and when you want it, something else equally awesome will. You might not end up where you thought you were going but you’ll end up somewhere. You don’t need to make sense of it right now.

Not everything can be controlled. Maybe that’s the point X

Music stuff… 



Twitter and all the irrelevant rest… Follow it if it makes you happy.






Day #190 – Last sad song.

The last week has sucked. It’s also been the best week ever. The reality of our decision has certainly kicked in and for you few folks who thought this was the ‘easy’ option. I beg to differ.

The parts that sucked sounded like this.

I’m going to record what the great bits sounded like next Wednesday at the studio. I’m pretty excited about that. It’s a maneater of a song. And I’m going to smack a drum. Really loud.

Thank you so much for the insane amount of support and love after my last post. I was blown away by people’s kindness and understanding.

I’m intent, more than ever, to make this music thing happen.

Things are different now. Same order. X

Come find me on all these other unnecessary social media type things! If you’ve got a youtube account I’d be super grateful for your subscription!





Day #147 – Master your time

 I am so awful at time management. People automatically think that if you’re always busy you’re managing your time well. You’re getting everything done! You’re making things happen. Yes. But not in the best way. I’m a mess with time. I get things done. But normally after some blood, sweat and tears. Quite a lot of shouting. Way too much stress. And with little time for anything else. That is poor time management.

I’ve made it my goal this week to sort that out. It’s true. We all have as many hours in the day as Beyonce! You think she was having a lie in and getting wrecked every weekend before she was successful? Was she putting off her ambitions until tomorrow so she could watch a movie? No, probably not. Who’s your hero? Who’s doing what you want to do RIGHT now? They have as many hours in a day as you. No ifs, no buts. They weren’t born where they are now. They worked hard and managed their time.

Humans are so incredible at making up excuses. You don’t see a squirrel putting off collecting his acorns. Or a bird building their nest. Unless you’re a cuckoo perhaps. I can hear you making them already. Yes we have jobs. And children. And responsibilities. It’s tough. The thing is if we put off today what we can do tomorrow, then we’re twice as likely to do that tomorrow too. And the next day and the next day. Before you know it, it’s Christmas again, the year has gone and you’re still clinging to the same hopes and dreams as last year. We can change that. You can make it happen for yourself…


Write down what you are doing in a day, over the period of a week. You’ll be so surprised at how much time you actually waste. Watching tv, social media, sleeping too much, doing things you feel you ‘should’ do. You will ALWAYS be able to create some space. Even if it’s just on your commute. Or lunch break. If you don’t want to, then you don’t want what you’re dreaming of enough. Great things don’t come easy. Effort is paramount.

Use your time effectively.

After working out where you can create space in your life, create a timetable. And stick to it! If you plan to do research every tuesday night, stick to it. Don’t go out. You have plans already! It’s research time. Go out tomorrow. Don’t forget to schedule in ‘down time’, otherwise of course, you will burn out. Relaxation is a really important part of succeeding. Without it, you won’t have the energy to carry on and you’ll get bored too. But look at what activities you choose to relax. Are they positive or negative?  For instance, relaxing by going out and getting drunk with your friends every week is fun… but is it going to make you feel motivated the next day? It’s wasting your time. Create new habits. Better ones. Ones that support you.

If you want to succeed, this has to become a way of life. It requires patience. It will take time to phase in and get used to. It’s also going to take twice as long as you think it will. You’ll also probably fall off your new wagon a few times. I know that I have. I’m learning. But this is why you need to have strong foundations. A firm base. Create assigned time to move forwards with your ambitions. It ain’t called ‘Cosmic Order’ for nothing folks.


In other news, I’ve set up my home studio now which is pretty exciting and am working on a cover to upload to my youtube channel this weekend. Subscribe to my channel for all upcoming tracks! I’ll also be uploading sneak peaks every monday via Instagram, so come follow me there too and random pictures from my life. Barbies, cats and cake all feature regularly.

Thank you for the support! It’s keeping me so motivated. How is your dream chasing going? Get in touch!




Day #144 – What is ‘Cosmic Order’ anyway?


Today, I’ve decided to share my ‘About’ page with you, as so many people don’t seem to know that it exists and although you are following my blog (Thank you!) don’t really know my motivation behind any of this…

When I set up ‘Cosmic Order’ I thought it was probably quite important to explain the point of it and my project. So people understood what the hell I’m writing about! Thing is, over 3,500 of you have read my posts. But less than 10 know about the ‘About’ page! Maybe I need to work on my web design skills… Going to master recording music first.

So here it is. In all its glory. Why I’m doing this.

My name is Gemma. I am not going to give you any numbers other than three, which is the number of beautiful daughters I have. That seems an important fact. Turns out I really quite like horses. I dream of warmer climates consistently. I’d love to meet a moose in the wild. I love forests. I love both blue and yellow intensely, which resulted in a half Swedish daughter. Uncanny. She is both blue and yellow. I want to make the world better. I don’t eat meat.

How this happened…

I’m on the other side of three children and I was thinking about what I’m going to do now. For the last few years I’ve had, and wanted, to put their needs first. I’m a mother, this will always be the case, but I’m also other things. I’m not having any more babies, I have retired from the realm of reproduction and it’s time for me to get out of this house. Nothing wrong with staying at home at all, it’s not about that. It’s just I want some more… I’ve got some more. I’m not done yet.

It dawned on me that to get any sort of work I’d need to invest a lot of time relearning really basic things like computer skills (I struggle with anything more than an email), interview techniques, sorting out my cv, volunteering… Refreshing myself. This led me to think ‘Why am I willing to consider investing time and effort into things I don’t care about to get work and not invest in what I would really love to do?’

At which point I decided. Ok. Invest in what your heart desires rather than in what you think you should invest in.

Then it all got a bit scarey because since forever I have wanted to be a singer and dreams are safe because they are just dreams.

Suddenly when you decide to look at your dreams and make them real you have to look at all sorts of skeletons in all sorts of ugly places. I’ve already tried at least three times to tell myself this is a bad idea, I’m going to fail, don’t do it. But if I don’t, it will always linger over me that I never tried to do what I really wanted. Because I was scared. Luckily, this thought scares me even more.

I started reading this ‘cosmic ordering’ book. It’s concepts are basic and are based on positive thinking, focusing, setting intentions, ‘ordering from the universe’ what you want – and getting it. It’s not magic. Or religion. Or hocus pocus. It’s kind of common sense… And I’m going to action it.

Is anything really possible? Can we actually all get everything that we want? If that’s true, why are so many of us not living our dreams?

The theory goes, if we doubt ourselves then ‘the universe’, everything around us, doubts us too. If we remove the self doubt, anything we want is ours. I want to see if this is true and document it along the way. I have given myself 365 days. Armed with cosmic ordering as a guide, I am going to become a hugely successful singer and a raging humanitarian on top of that. My ideas are big, as are my aspirations. I want to inspire other people to look at their lives, their dreams, their desires and realise that anything is possible. Everything is achievable. We just have to make it happen.

Follow my blog diary for progress reports, good days, bad days, thoughts, feelings and ideas about all of this and how I pull it off.

Be interactive – Get your own dream out of your bag, let’s discover and batter our self inflicted limitations together.

(FYI if you’re viewing the blog on your phone in the top left hand corner there are three little horizontal lines. If you click on that a drop down menu appears. Here you’ll find contact info, the about section and my inspiration!)

Thank you so much for the ongoing support! I’d love to hear from you!

Follow me on my other social networks!

Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Youtube – http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich

More music coming this week! Add me on Instagram for #musicmonday sneak peaks at what I’ll be uploading next! xx

Day #132 – Keep walking.

Keep moving forwards. Daily.

Keep moving forwards. Daily.

You can’t always plan your route because sometimes there isn’t one. If it were as easy as following a route, doing A, B and C then I’m sure many more of  us would be living our happily ever afters. Sorry folks. Life’s tougher than that. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible though.

Sometimes that can be challenging. Working really hard for something you have no idea how or when will come about. It’s like your working blind in a way. You can’t see that all the small steps you are taking are bringing you closer to your dream. The masses of effort you’re putting in ARE paying off. You become so consumed with where you want to be, you forget to look out the window. The journey is part of it. Most of it.

Remember why you started this in the first place. Remember how you felt when you took the first step towards reaching your goals. Keep that in your mind. Look back at how far you have come already! You’re facing in the right direction now. We just need to keep walking.

A change may be just around the corner. We can’t see it. As humans we like to be in control. We like to know everything. We struggle when we can’t see why and how something works or can happen. It’s times like this that people give up. Quit. Fail. They can’t see how so they don’t believe it can happen.

When you’re feeling like this it’s really important to remember there is usually more than one route to a destination and yours will be different to the person next to you. Pick 10 people doing your dream job and they will all have different experiences on how they got to where they are now. That should give you hope. Your route is as worthy. It’s your route! Lined with all the lessons and wisdom you need for when you get there. Sometimes we get lost and have to take another route. Sometimes that involves us going sideways for a bit to connect with another route forwards.

It could happen this way. It could happen that way. It could happen fast or slow. Just be open to the opportunities and changes that are put in your path. That’s all you can do. Keep growing and learning. Look for opportunities and work hard every single day.

When you arrive at your destination, you’ll look back and be so grateful for everything that you went through and learnt along the way. You’ll tell everyone it’s what made you. Right now, that’s tough to believe. But it’s true. The good things in life aren’t free…

Be assertive and pro active. Go create your life. X


If you liked this post let me know by clicking the little like star icon below! Want to read about something specific? Get in touch via the ‘about’ tab and I’ll write something aimed right at you and your life!

Connect with me on…

Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Youtube – http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich


Thanks for the ongoing support and love. You’re amazing X


Day #124 – No opportunity? Create one.

If opportunity doesn't knock, BUILD A DOOR!

If opportunity doesn’t knock, BUILD A DOOR!

Most of us are quite defeatist. If something feels too difficult, is a struggle or we come up against too many problems, we give up. No big deal, we thought as much. We thought it would be impossible. Proved ourselves right. Oh well. Move on. Other people are always the successful, rich and happy ones living their dream lives. We’re down here, keeping it real. Plodding along, getting through the days, keeping our chins up.

Jesus. We can’t live like this. It’s why crack was invented.

Have you ever stopped to think that people are actually all the same? Sure, some people have to struggle or work harder than others. But that doesn’t mean that opportunities are there for some and not for others. You don’t have to be special. You have to be willing to do every single thing that you deem possible to reach your goal. You have to accept that yes, some people have it ‘easy’ but it doesn’t matter. It’s irrelevant to you and your own progress.

You have to CREATE your future. Nobody is going to hand it to you on a plate. It won’t just turn up. You have to work for it. And hard.

Don’t pay attention or look at how other people are doing it. Find your own way. Where are your opportunities within your own circumstances?

We find it very easy to make a list of can’ts. The reasons why what we want to do can’t happen. We’re incredible at this. What about making a list of cans? Try it. Write a list of what you CAN do at this moment in time towards your goal. In this day and age, especially with the internet, there is always something you can do.

I have a massive list of cant’s. I used to let them rule the roost.

  • I can’t write music
  • I can’t play any instrument well enough to record
  • I dont understand a lot of technical stuff
  • I can’t afford to record something professionally
  • I don’t know any producers or songwriters I can work with
  • I have no clue how to do this

That used to be enough to put me off. I’d successfully stated my case. All of those are facts. It’s impossible. Hard. Stressful. Probably shouldn’t bother.

Only problem is, if I don’t do this, pretty sure I’m going to spend the rest of my life lost, unfulfilled and full of sadness. Failure isn’t an option. I started thinking about what I CAN do. What opportunities can I start creating around me NOW? I might not be able to see how I’ll get to my end goal, but what is a step in the right direction and will help me on my way?

I’ve started writing down words. Parts of songs. Thoughts. Rhymes. I have no idea whether it’s good or a mess but it doesn’t matter. I’m being proactive. You have to start somewhere. Besides, listening to the radio the bar seems to be set pretty low presently 😉 I also took it upon myself to ask my friend who owns a recording studio and independent record label if I can work for him in return for studio time. Amazingly, he said yes. What an opportunity. I am so excited to be in the right environment, learning about how music is made and the equipment you use. I’m all about learning and mastering your craft. Last night I was stuffing envelopes, washing dishes and hoovering a studio… At least it was a studio and not a restaurant. I also learnt how to set up the mics and tidy up cables. I now know what a jack lead looks like… It’s the right direction. Who knows what I’ll learn and where that knowledge will take me. This week I’m also going to set up something at home to record cover songs to upload to my youtube channel. Youtube is covered in people doing it. I need to start creating a bigger following. Again, it’s not the final destination, but it’s definitely on the right road.

You have as much opportunity as the man who made it and the man who didn’t. You just have to pick which path you’re going to travel on.

I feel excited. I’m finally doing life. It’s not doing  me.

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Day #111 – You hate your job.


Since starting this blog I find myself having a lot of conversations with people about their dreams and ambitions. It’s nice.

I love hearing about the person inside the person I thought I knew or only just met. It gives me faith in humans. It reminds me that we’re all the same. We all have secret ambitions that we are too scared to look at and have never shared. It makes me genuinely happy when people share these with me.

One thing that I am hearing over and over and over again is this – ‘I hate my job’.

My heart does a little sigh when I hear those words. ‘I hate my job’. It sighs because I’m becoming exhausted with humans and their nature. Most people hate their jobs unfortunately, and most people are unwilling to put some change into action.

The most obvious question to me is ‘Well why do you do it then?’ and the answers are always the same. Money is usually the top answer. People have to keep the jobs they hate for the money. FYI the latest urban myth is, jobs you love don’t pay so well. It’s spread like wild fire. Almost as popular as that urban myth about KFC and the genetically modified chickens…

What if money wasn’t the issue? What if you could find a really great paying job doing the thing that you love? I’m sure there is a way around this – to make as much money as you are now – or at least adjust to the new salary. There is always a way. Out comes a barrage of new excuses – job security, pensions, too risky, nowhere in the area, you’d have to relocate, have to do this, have to do that, too difficult… got a family now, it’s impossible.

God almighty people. Stop complaining about the job that you hate so much if you are resigned to the fact that you won’t and can’t change it. It’s such a waste of energy! If you put as much effort into doing the thing that you love as you do into the thing that you hate, you’d see amazing results!

Do you hate your job? Are you willing to do something about it? No? Then stop complaining. See Day #99 – You created this mess.

So maybe your dream job as a tree surgeon isn’t going to pay as much as your hot shot job in the city. Life is about choice. Maybe money is more important to you than loving what you do. In that case it really doesn’t matter, but quit being miserable about it. Life’s too short. Sure, money is nice. You can buy lots of stuff, go to lots of places… but if you’re spending at least 40 hours a week being miserable. Is it worth it? You’re busy saving and squirrelling money away for later. What if you don’t make it to later? I’ve also met a lot of people on the other side of work. Retired people with stacks of savings, incapable of ever spending what they have accumulated. They spent their younger years working ridiculously hard, hardly seeing each other, slaving away for their retirement in jobs they hated. What kind of life is that? Now they’re too old and too fragile to do all the things that they really wanted to do with their lives. They wanted to do things when they were younger. Now they’re too old.

It’s funny isn’t it? How most people are willing to invest 40+ hours a week on a job they hate, making lots of money for someone at the top, whilst bringing home an average wage. Yet you ask someone to invest 3 hours a week to something that they genuinely love. Their passion. Their dream. What their heart desires and the list of excuses is endless.

Don’t waste your life doing what you think you should be doing. What everybody else is doing. What makes you feel alive? What do you love? Stop living a crappy dream and grab your real one.

Life is short.

Think about it. X

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Day #99 – You created this mess.

It’s still about responsibility.

In my last post I talked about this on a global level. Well let’s look at our lack of responsibility on a personal level… It’ll probably get ugly.

How many times in the day do you think ‘Why is this so hard?’ or ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ or ‘Life is so much easier for that person..’ It’s pretty common when you’re having a bad day. You feel sorry for yourself, feel hopeless. You convince yourself that your circumstances are different or special in some sense. Run off a bunch of ‘reasons’ why you haven’t/couldn’t/can’t. There are things you need to be able to complete your dream. There are people who need to help you, who keep letting you down. Unexpected situations arise that hinder your progress. The list is endless. But it’s never ultimately your fault.

What if I said that all of the above reasons can’t actually hinder you? You decide what you create out of any given situation. It is always your own fault. You can always decide what you create. That’s the difference between failure and success.

When my step father died, I spent a lot of time, years, using that as the reason I was stuck in my hometown. I was mortified. If he hadn’t died then I would be free to be wherever I wanted. As a result of his death, I ‘had’ to stay at home. My mother needed me. That was the reason I wasn’t ‘succeeding’. At the same time I was having a baby. The mess I was surrounded by was too much. I couldn’t do anything now because I’d had a baby. I blamed my circumstances, things I thought I didn’t have control of. It’s a lot easier to do that.

I like my new way of thinking better. Whilst my circumstances weren’t great for a while, I made what I did out of it. I decided to stay here. I decided to be close to my mother. I decided to have a baby. I decided to put my mother and child first. I chose that and I own it. Nobody forced me. I am entirely responsible. I created it.

I have been going stir crazy. Pulling my hair out. My time management has been all over the place. It’s been driving me mad. I have lots of stuff I need to do and get on with to keep my project moving forwards and the momentum going with it. I’ve been overwhelmed. I’ve had no time. I couldn’t even make time. My personal life has been mega busy organising and doing things for other people, then I decided I must organise a protest and have been immersing myself in political news and history trying to come up with legitimate answers for why innocent children are dying. Meanwhile, my music was sailing off down the river. I didn’t feel like I had any control over it. There aren’t enough hours in a day. It’s not my fault. It’s everybody else’s etc etc etc.

Then I remembered. I created this mess.

It’s entirely my fault. Through the decisions, both big and small, important and unimportant, but through my decisions nonetheless, I have created my situation. I decided to. I wanted to. Make a list of everything that you consider is holding you back. Or things that have happened to you which you consider major factors in your life that have altered your path. Now look at that list and see what your involvement is in that. Example – the job you hate but you still do because you need the money. That’s your decision. Being trapped in the job is an illusion. There are other jobs. There are always options. If there’s no option, make a plan so you get to a place where you have an option. It’s not the job hindering you, it’s yourself. You’re the boss.

If we can see how easy it is to create everything we don’t want in our lives, surely we can create everything that we DO want? We can tailor make everything exactly how we want it. It gives me some hope at least.

There is no secret. No magic key. No special formula. You don’t need to know anybody special or be rich or have special tools. You just need to be willing to take responsibility for everything in your life right now and work out how to change the things that aren’t working for the better.

Break it down and create it. X


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