Tag Archives: motivation

Day #297 – You’re dying.

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‘Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.’ ~Dr. Seuss

I know what you’re thinking. What a joyous blog title right? Where is she going with this? Has all her recent darkness overcome her and now she’s finally lost the plot entirely? No. No I really haven’t.

We are all so scared to talk about dying. About death. We ignore it until it happens. Then we’re horrified by it and can’t deal with it all that well. But guess what? It’s going to happen to all of us at some point. Yes. You too. Even if we live until the oldest that is humanly possible. Even if we pass away peacefully in our sleep. Our time here on this earth is limited. It’s the only certainty of life.

Do you pay attention to that fact?

When people are diagnosed with a terminal illness and they’re given a small amount of time, suddenly it’s precious. They and the people around them become very aware of that fact. Petty arguments seem futile as does the daily slog of life. What really matters and is important suddenly becomes paramount. Bucket lists are born. People make more time for each other. Check in a little more often. Support each other and assist them in getting as much done in this life that they always wanted to do. It’s beautiful.

This is how we are when people are dying. But the thing is… Shouldn’t we live like this always? Aren’t we all dying, every single day? A little bit? Who knows when your number will be up. I’ve seen it first hand. It can happen to anyone, anywhere at any given moment. Why do we wait for a terrible diagnosis to start living the life we should have been living all along? Why do we wait until it’s too late to say the words we wished we’d said? Just say them. What have you got to lose? Face?! Oh yes. That’s very important. Keep your face.

Yes I know. Easier said than done. We all too easily get caught up in life. In society. We let ourselves become trapped in the rat race. We’re on the treadmill, running like maniacs until our hearts pop. But it’s a treadmill. You can get off it. You’re more powerful than you give yourself credit for.

Imagine you were given six months to live. What would you do? Where would you go? Who would you make peace with? Would you regret anything? Would you wish you’d had the courage to just do what you always wanted to? Here comes the big question now then. Why aren’t you doing that already?

Oh yes. I know. Work. And family. And responsibilities. What other people think. Let’s chuck money in there for good measure too. But really? You’re not making peace with someone because you have a job? You’re not saving up for that trip of a lifetime because you have a family? You never followed your true calling because you couldn’t afford it? I can’t afford to be a writer. I’m still writing. There’s always a little way of bringing in more of what you love. Stop being scared.

I am acutely aware that I am dying. It makes me want to live  X

Music stuff…

http://www.ropestore.bandcamp.com

http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich

Twitter and all the irrelevant rest… Follow it if it makes you happy.

http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich

http://www.twitter.com/ropestoremusic

http://www.facebook.com/ropestoremusic

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Day #295 – Delicious ambiguity.

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I’ve done gone did it again. Twenty three days of silence. Twenty three days. That’s just short of a month. Even though I know how this all works. How you have to keep going when you don’t want to. How shit happens and you have to get right back up and keep walking. How when you feel like quitting and giving everything up you have to focus even harder. I know all of that. As do you. Didn’t stop me though. I’ve been busy thought gathering.

I’m here now. For the moment. This little heart of mine is relentless. Sometimes I  wish it craved stability and normality.

I’ve been pretty stressed about everything. Think I’ve mentioned that far too many times. I’m bored of it too. I haven’t wanted to write anything. Nothing inspiring at least. Nothing I’ve wanted to share. I’m so tired of people having an opinion on what and how I’m doing things in the real world, writing has just felt like giving them more ammunition to silently fire my way. I’ve been feeling somewhat naive and stupid. Perhaps even displaced. But I guess me being quiet would make me the loser in the long run.

I’ve been stressed because things haven’t felt like they are ‘going to plan’. Things have certainly been moving and developing but not how I had planned. I had this list of things I ‘should’ be doing. How to get from A to B. How to win. I threw my list away. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to do all the things I’ve been advised I ‘should’ do to succeed. There’s been a shift.

With my new found acceptance of life came something else. Trust.

Life just isn’t something you can plan out. It’s an uncertain, ever evolving, inexplicable old thing. You can work towards things and you can have an idea of how you want everything to pan out, but as for having control on how and when that happens. I’m not sure we have all that much say in it. Spanners happen. Things don’t work out exactly how we imagined. Then what? We run around in circles searching, panicking about what to do instead. Worrying it’s not going to plan. What if we just trusted that everything is unfolding exactly as it should? Everything will be alright in the end. Weezer said so.

A friend of mine was really upset recently. They had put all of their hopes into getting this promotion at work and planned the next few years of their life around it. When it didn’t happen they were really upset. All they could see was that they were stuck on the same pay scale in the same job going nowhere and everybody around them was moving up the ladder. They mustn’t be good enough. At that moment, even though I was trying to point out that something better would come along, that it wasn’t the right position, because their ‘plan’ had failed, they couldn’t see anything else. Nothing better was going to come. There was nothing better.

They’ve just been offered a much better job. With much better prospects. Doing exactly what they wanted to do. They didn’t see it before. But it was there all along, right in front of them. Do they care about the job that didn’t happen anymore? Not so much. This is way better. It’s the same for you. Maybe this isn’t unfolding as and how you had hoped. But it’s certainly unfolding and going SOMEWHERE. Whatsoever you are doing will help you grow and see new things.

It’s easy to do with hindsight. We can look at things and say that everything happened for a reason and without each step, both positive and negative, we wouldn’t be where we are today. If we can do it with hindsight, I’m sure we can do it in the present moment too. Just trust that as you’re doing your very best and working in the right direction, it’ll all work out. It just will. And if you have no idea what direction to go in, trust that something will be put in front of you. You just have to jump with no thought of what might happen next. Even if the idea scares you to death. Keep your eyes open and ears to the ground. If what you want to work out doesn’t happen as and when you want it, something else equally awesome will. You might not end up where you thought you were going but you’ll end up somewhere. You don’t need to make sense of it right now.

Not everything can be controlled. Maybe that’s the point X

Music stuff… 

http://www.ropestore.bandcamp.com

http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich

Twitter and all the irrelevant rest… Follow it if it makes you happy.

http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich

http://www.twitter.com/ropestoremusic

http://www.facebook.com/ropestoremusic

 

 

Day #271 – I am a disappointment…

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… I am also kind.

I think I’m struggling to keep my head above the water but I can’t tell because I’m kicking so hard I have no idea what’s going on around me. Maybe I’m drowning. Maybe I’m a human dolphin. I’ve been told I’m a disappointment until sometimes I can’t move. I’ve been told that other people share this sentiment. I’ve been told that I’m not hated… But other people ‘disapprove’ of me. People I really cared about. People I thought were awesome. You tell anybody this for long enough, you’ll break them. They won’t be able to hear the other people around them saying nice things. The strangers thanking them. Day in, day out I’ve been asked to recount and explain myself.  Sometimes I’m good enough, most of the time I’m not. I’ll never be forgiven for this thing that wasn’t that thing at all. Sometimes it’s easier to blame somebody else than look at an entire picture. 

But I’ve had it. It’s too much. Perhaps I am a disappointment to some people. That’s ok. Nobody knows the truth. I do. I know the entire truth. Nobody’s really bothered to ask. We should all be taught when we are young that we are going to go through life disappointing people one after the other. Instead we are taught “Don’t disappoint!”, “Disappointing people is bad!” As a result we live our entire lives trying to please other people and worrying about what everyone else thinks of us. Even if you were as perfect as they come, you’d still disappoint someone somewhere. It’s the trouble with humans. As long as you’re not disappointing yourself, that’s all that matters. And if you do screw up and do a tiny thing on your massive journey that makes you disappointed in yourself. Say sorry. Be sorry. Show that you’re sorry. Do everything that you can to remedy that situation and support the people that you may have hurt (and yourself). Don’t do it again. Learn from it. But most importantly, forgive yourself and keep walking. Don’t kill yourself over it. What the hell is the point beating yourself up over things you can’t change or undo? Some people will never understand you or want to for that matter. Do you realise how short life is? We could all be dead tomorrow. That’s the reality. Grab life and screw what everyone else thinks.

I’m learning that no matter what other people think of you, you have to look after yourself first and foremost. If the people around you don’t make you feel good – don’t be around them anymore. Why are you inviting someone into your life, out of choice, that doesn’t make you feel good? Nobody’s friendship is that special or worth it if they don’t bring out the best in you and love you as you are. Nobody’s. Sometimes that hurts. Actually it really hurts. Loving someone and wanting to be a positive influence in their life and being met with hostility and rejection hurts. But so do unsupportive friendships. Friends are kind beings and friendship is a two way street. Don’t forget that. We are all worthy of being surrounded by kindness.

I’ve been trying to work out how I can use my current situation to help other people in relation to the whole cosmic ordering business. Chasing your dreams. Living your dreams. Being yourself. And I guess it’s just this, which I’ve said a few times before. Life is never going to be smooth. Stop waiting for things to calm down to start your project or your business or your class. Whatever it is that you want to do or wherever it is you want to go. Stop waiting. The perfect time doesn’t exist and I can pretty much guarantee that it will be much harder than you can even imagine no matter how ‘perfect’ you have timed and planned things. Something unexpected will always happen. When the going gets rough, you can’t give up. As much as you want to. Stay focused and know that all the things that are problems now will be distant memories one day. If you give up, nothing’s going to change. You have to start and you have to carry on, amidst everything. It blows, but the alternative blows more.

Hi. I’m a human. I make mistakes. Other people do too. Nice to meet you. X

Find me on these! Music is judged on followers, hits and likes nowadays so come help the cause! 

Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich or http://www.twitter.com/ropestoremusic

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/ropestoremusic

Youtube – http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Bandcamp – http://www.ropestore.bandcamp.com

Day #262 – It is what it is what it is.

 

The last 3 months I have been in proper turmoil with myself. My mind has been a chaotic, confused, helpless space. I’ve been waging this weird war inside my head. Struggling, beating myself up, questioning, begging… trying to fix things. Find things. Find an answer to all of this.

But then one day, I just decided from somewhere that it was enough now. I have to accept things as they are. Which you know… got me thinking.

When somebody tells you to ‘accept things’ we automatically associate that with settling. With not striving. With making do. With not trying to make things better. I’ve learnt that actually, it’s not that at all. Accepting is not the same as resigning yourself to the situation that you are so desperately trying to escape or better.

There’s absolutely no point in struggling against the things that you cannot change. Or the people you cannot change. Wishing that things were different. What could have been. What might be. If you just do this. Just do that… Stop! Accept things literally as they are. Right now. Even if you don’t like it. It’s the absolute and fundamental first step. This is your present moment.

No amount of wishing your situation away or rejecting it is going to make it go away. Rather than getting angry about it, blaming other people for it or shouting about how downright unfair life is, just accept that this is where you are right now. This is what is at your table. Have a good look at it. Get to know it. How does it make you feel? By looking at it square on, you know exactly what you’re playing with. If you don’t like it, it’s absolutely possible to change it, but you must accept it first. It’s imperative. Also the more you struggle and work against what you’re being dealt, the more energy you’re giving it. Have we learnt what that does yet? Makes it bigger. Stop feeding it.

We all have real life covering us. With real life comes responsibilities and restrictions at different times. One minute you’re flying high and the next you’re getting punched in the guts. Welcome to life! I know that I’m guilty of wishing some of my responsibilities away at different times. I’ve had this constant battle inside of late to push things forward quickly. This constant worry that if I don’t act immediately everything will pass me by and I’ll only be left with ‘real life’. The thought terrifies me. This music thing HAS to happen for me. I literally don’t even know what I’ll do if it doesn’t. But with that thought, comes a constant state of striving and looking to the future. Waiting. When’s it going to happen? Have I screwed it up? What if that was my best and only option? What I’ve started to do instead is just accept that this right here is where I am. It’s neither good or bad. It’s just my place. It’s very different to the place I was in 6 months ago and I’m sure in 6 months from now, I’ll say the same. I’ve decided to stop struggling. Here is where I am, and actually, looking around… It’s pretty sweet. I am so fortunate.

Trust that everything is unfolding just as it should. Every single situation that you find yourself in is preparing you for your desired goal. Your divine purpose. I remember when I first started and I thought I’d never get anyone to read my blog, I had no idea how I was going to even record a song. The band that I’m in were played on BBC Radio 6 music last night. Could I have foreseen that? Expected it? Absolutely not. If you look back 6 months at your own life, you’ll see that too. Stop trying to swim upstream and flap around. You’ll drown. Come this way. Float down the river.

Accepting things doesn’t mean sitting back and doing nothing. By no means. Nothing happens if you don’t work hard for it. Accepting things is a state of mind. Observe and accept that where you are and what you are doing right at this moment has it’s own role in your grand scheme. As you begin to accept your current self you can also plan for a brighter future. You’ll be able to see much more clearly where and what you you need to stop fighting with.

Sometimes the things that we have to accept aren’t things that we have inflicted on ourselves. They are nobody’s fault and out of everybody’s control. But as soon as we accept and own our situation, a certain power fills your bones. You’re back in control and you can look at things in a more manageable way. This is what you’ve got. What are you going to do with it? How are you going to deal with it?

Nobody said it was easy x

Find me on these!

Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich or http://www.twitter.com/ropestoremusic

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/ropestoremusic

Youtube – http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Bandcamp – http://www.ropestore.bandcamp.com

 

Day #260 – Thanks for holding.

Thank you

Oops. I left you hanging for almost 2 weeks. I’ve been so busy doing music stuff (hooray for Cosmic Order!) that first of all I forgot entirely about blogging. Then I was too tired to even think about sharing my thoughts. Then I’ve felt a bit silent.

I’m in a little band now. Rope Store. With that, my regular studio duties and a bunch of PR work I have been doing, my thoughts, time and energy have been consumed to say the least.  I’m not complaining. I’m so happy with what we are doing and making. I can honestly say that I’ve enjoyed every single moment of every single thing that I’ve been working on. We are having fun and little doors of opportunity have already started presenting themselves without too much effort from our part. Except for the soul consumption. Thankfully our souls are big.

Last week we uploaded one of our songs ‘Get Me Out’ onto Fresh On The Net which grew out of Tom Robinson’s show on BBC Introducing. Anybody/everybody can upload their music for the moderators to listen to and if they like it you’re put on the weeks ‘Listening Post’ where the public can vote for their favourite 5. We were so happy to be selected and made last weeks first ‘Fresh Faves’ batch of 2015. It still seems pretty surreal. Louis Barabbas, of Debt Records, wrote some lovely words about us here Rope Store Fresh Faves Review and fellow blogger Sean, over at Sonic Breakfast shared his sentiment. It made us smile a lot. Thanks for your support guys…

Despite the incredible music related stuff I’ve been filling every single freaking day with, January feels rougher this year than most. Everybody around me seems to be facing massive, life changing situations. It feels somewhat chaotic and at times dark. There is still enough light, but it’s an odd time. Must be something in the air. The Chinese Sheep will be here soon… Maybe it’ll all shift then. Until then tuck and roll.

As my regular readers already know, I try to blog about topics and issues that I’m working through and/or dealing with so that it might help you think about things too. Or maybe just make you feel less alone in your thoughts. I’m jumping back in the blogging seat on Monday morning. First blog back is going to be all about acceptance and being present….

Right now though, I’m accepting that I’m exhausted. I need to sleep.

Sorry for the slight pause there. All in the name of Cosmic Order! I promise!

You can always come follow me on twitter, youtube and instagram for snippets between blogs. Oooh and if you want music specific news we now have a new Facebook page. How exciting. Find all the shlinks below!

Thanks for being patient and awesome xx

http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich or http://www.ropestore.bandcamp.com

http://www.facebook.com/ropestoremusic

http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich and http://www.twitter.com/ropestoremusic

http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Day #247 – Balance

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Don’t you just love the first week of January?! Everybody gets so excited at the end of December. Here it comes! Everything is going to change as the clock strikes midnight on the 31st. Life is going to suddenly be awesome! All the things that were giving you grief will magically disappear and you’ll be enlightened. Well here she is, in all her anti climaxing glory.

Happy New Year! Sorry should I have sugar coated her a bit more? Perhaps I can get you a donut.

You see, New Year actually means jack crap. Nothing is going to change of its own accord. You have to change it. You have to decide. You have to decide to stop your negative behaviour. You have to decide to stop letting other people affect you. You have to decide what you want and then put it into action. Yourself. At any given moment.

I feel grateful every single day that I have so many awesome things going on in my life right now and the opportunity to explore the things that I love to do. I’m so lucky. I’m singing a lot. I’m recording a lot. I’m learning how to use recording equipment. I’m co hosting an awesome radio show. I’m writing. I’m researching. I’m finally in a band! I’m doing some PR work on the side of that. I have a bunch of incredible friends who have been like rocks to me of late and three hilarious little girls that are bursting with love and potential.

On the other side of that though I feel like I’m in actual hell. I’m utterly and completely overwhelmed by how much I am doing and have to do. I’m trying to figure out how and when I’m putting carrots on the table. I’m looking after three incredible but demanding children. I’m sitting on this heavy broken heart. I just lost my best friend. But if I don’t do the awesome stuff above, then I’ll slip into this awful hole of a place. I know it well. I can’t stop. It’s not an option at all. So what to do Rose?

Im not one for New Year’s resolutions. I don’t really understand why you should wait until the turn of the calendar year to make changes to your life for a week. But I do understand making changes. And finding solutions to situations that aren’t serving you.

I feel like I need to find some balance. I need to schedule in sleep. I need to sleep. She says, sipping coffee and updating her blog with her eyeballs resting on the keyboard. And I need to nurture myself in a way that isn’t doing work. My free time is half that of a regular person (and also probably a lot more than other regular persons) so I’m always hell bent on cramming everything and anything in. There’s always something I want to learn or do. I can’t sit still. I need to learn how but the thought makes me screw my face up. I need to learn to balance my two entirely polar opposite lives. One minute I’m home giving everything I have to my children and the next I’m standing by myself, working like a crazy person making music and writing. Quite often with a beer in my hand.

Then I read this.

‘Live life in all possible ways; don’t choose one thing against the other, and don’t try to be in the middle. Don’t try to balance yourself – balance is not something that can be cultivated. Balance is something that comes out of experiencing all the dimensions of life. Balance is something that happens; it is not something that can be brought about through your efforts. If you bring it through your efforts it will be false, forced. And you will remain tense, you will not be relaxed, because how can a person who is trying to remain balanced in the middle be relaxed? You will always be afraid that if you relax you may start moving to the left or to the right. You are bound to remain uptight, and to be uptight is to miss the whole opportunity, the whole gift of life.

Don’t be uptight. Don’t live life according to principles. Live life in its totality, drink life in its totality! Yes, sometimes it tastes bitter – so what? That taste of bitterness will make you capable of tasting its sweetness. You will be able to appreciate the sweetness only if you have tasted its bitterness. One who knows not how to cry will not know how to laugh, either. One who cannot enjoy a deep laughter, a belly laugh, that person’s tears will be crocodile tears. They cannot be true, they cannot be authentic.

I don’t teach the middle way, I teach the total way. Then a balance comes of its own accord, and then that balance has tremendous beauty and grace. You have not forced it, it has simply come. By moving gracefully to the left, to the right, in the middle, slowly a balance comes to you because you remain so unidentified. When sadness comes, you know it will pass, and when happiness comes you know that will pass, too. Nothing remains; everything passes by. The only thing that always abides is your witnessing. That witnessing brings balance. That witnessing is balance.’  – The Book Of Understanding, Osho

In life, all opposites are joined together. They exist together. The art is finding the middle. The perfect balance. It’ll come when it’s good and ready.

Life is a crazy thing. Live it totally and true to yourself. The rest will follow.

When I find the next bit of mind blowing inspiration that will see us all out of this blue, full mooning, first week of January, I’ll let you know.

Until then I say hide.

That is all.

X

Want music? Head here..

http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich or here http://www.ropestore.bandcamp.com

Want pictures? Head here..

http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Want uncertainty and nothing in particular? Here’s the place for you..

http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich

 

Day #239 – Welcome to Rope Store.

The week before Christmas I went to the studio to do my regular cable tidying and hoovering up of ghost dog hair. Whilst untangling a wire Jason asked me to do some backing vocals on a track he recorded a few months ago. I’m always game for recording opportunities. I want and need as much practice and experience as I can get regardless of the genre or whether it is something that I ‘want’ to record or sound like. Experience is experience. And I just love doing it. I love the process.

Somehow though we never really got around to doing that. Instead, Jason started playing a melody on the guitar that he’d been working on. I thought it sounded awesome. So we recorded some drums. And some bass. Then some guitar. A bit more guitar and before we knew it we were sitting in the control room co writing a song on scraps of paper in my fairly illegible doctors scrawl. I also found myself thrown into my first 8 track master class. Talk about being overwhelmed. Two recordings and lessons later though and me and the machine are starting to understand each other a bit. Those buttons aren’t as intimidating as they’ll have you believe. The cables. They’re another story. I have been pesting Jason for months to form a band with me so to say that I’m happy about this new endeavour is an understatement. Obvs I’m playing it well cool…

And that’s that really. ‘Rope Store’ were born that evening. Jason wrote another song yesterday and we went to the studio last night and recorded and learnt it from scratch. We work fast. We share that with our love of cheese sandwiches.

Rope Store’s sound is essentially 60s soul/rnb I think… There were some definite Mamas and Papas vibes in the room. Jason said the word Abba at one point and I just chose to ignore that. Last night was bluesy. It’s not necessarily how I want my solo material to sound but this isn’t my solo material. This is an awesome band I have the pleasure of being in. We just need to find some hardworking, talented and dedicated to the cause musicians so we can do some gigs. We are going to find you. Look out.

Everything has been produced by Jason at Old School Studios onto 8 track. It’s such a beautiful way of recording. There are always little accidental quirks happening which make the track more turkish rug, guiding you in different directions. I find the lack of shine and polish that our ears have come accustomed to nothing but refreshing and wonderful. Recording onto tape gives the music a rawness that I couldn’t even try to explain and a physical connection to the sounds you are making. It’s not about closing windows and adding plug ins and auto tuning. It’s about being gentle with this seasoned and loyal machine. Carefully cleaning the tape heads, twisting and turning countless knobs and buttons, recording each instrument and vocal to the musicians best ability. If something goes wrong you can’t click ‘help’. It’s a real craft. Find me a laptop or piece of software that is so timeless and significant. If you’re a recording artist and you haven’t recorded onto tape, I highly recommend it.

If you want to take a listen to what we recorded so far you can check us out (and even buy it if you’re so inclined) on band camp.

https://ropestore.bandcamp.com/track/stop

https://ropestore.bandcamp.com/track/all-of-you

If you like what you hear please do spread the word with your little social media buttons.

Here’s to Rope Store!

Like the blog? It’s almost over! Come follow before it’s too late! Don’t miss the cosmic boat! You can also find me on …

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/gemmadietrich

Youtube – http://www.youtube.com/user/gemmadietrich

Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/gemmadietrich

Hoping you have all had the best holidays and feasted beautifully xx

Day #237 – Christmas pork and beans.

Me and Jason have three main things in common. We both love New York City. We both eat far too many cheese sandwiches. And we both love Weezer.

The other night/morning we headed to the studio and made this. It was FUN.

Didn’t make a video because I didn’t take anything with me. Instead, as it’s Christmas, I took this picture of me wearing my daughters Christmas jumper, trying to contort into the chimney, covered in fairy lights. Doesn’t get much more Christmasy than that in our household. I could have got up but I’m scared of spiders.

I heart Weezer.

Hope your days are full of love and cheer! X

Day #233 – The Invitation.

Then, one day she decided to design a life she loved.

Then, one day she decided to design a life she loved.

I’m somewhat technically limited presently. I’m without laptop and constrained to this strange invention one calls an iPad. Honestly, not sure why anybody would have one. It’s just a massive phone. I could have put my cash towards one the other day, but I chose a bass over a computer. It’s all for the same cause. Far prettier than any laptop I’ve ever seen and she speaks a language I understand. I can’t complan… Not too much.

Instead of writing a blog today and hammering you with personal development ideas, I’m going to share this beautiful poem I read the other day. It is Christmas after all! And the Winter Solstice! That’s quite significant. Today is the perfect day to set your intentions for the coming year. This poem made me so happy and resonated with me on every level. It’s basically what I want to ask people the minute I meet them. Small talk is over rated. I hope it fits somewhere for you too.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming, from the book The Invitation published by HarperONE, San Francisco, 1999 All rights reserved. http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com

Ahh! That one. I love words.

Music news? Co wrote and recorded an awesome little song the other day down at Old School Studios. When I flew back from New York with Icelandair I also didn’t realise that they are the international version of ryanair. No food. No music. No movies.. No beers. Oh unless you pay extra for all of the above. Long haul, that SUCKS! But what I did have was a window seat, a notebook and a pencil. The original material is coming, slowly but surely. Tortoises are way cooler. They win too. I also just treated myself to a bass. Look out for these ninja fingers. And I had my first master class recording onto 8 track. Even managed to fit in washing and feeding the kids. God knows why I’m so tired.

Go CREATE X

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Day #230 – What New York did.

(Other than make me want to live there more than ever…)

For all my regular readers, you’ll know I just treated myself to a trip to NYC.  I needed a break so I took one. I took the best one. Then I took a bit more. Why? Because I needed to remember how to be free and how to breathe.

I also went to be inspired. In one short week I crammed in so many shows and gigs and people and places. I adorned myself in music and life. It was the happiest and best I’ve felt in so long. I’ve brought that home with me. I met some wonderful and beautiful people. I laughed until I cried and an existing friend turned into a best one.

What I loved the most about New York was  watching people work their arses off in pursuit of their dreams and passions. Everything seemed somewhat possible. I’m sure they didn’t feel like that but I watched them be like that. It’s a city full of people striving for more. Striving to achieve. Everybody wants to do something somewhere and they’re working at it. I probably had my rose tinted glasses on. I don’t mind. I do know that New York isn’t for the faint hearted.

We all need to feel inspired to keep us motivated. Often we expect inspiration to fall into our laps, but sometimes we have to go looking for it. If you want to get to the top of your game it’s so important to surround yourself in people you admire. Smother yourself in them. Read about them, listen to them, watch them. Ask them how they did things. How they do things. Never stop trying to improve how you do things. Never stop asking questions. It’s the only way you’ll get better.

I’ll go to the studio and make something shinier just as soon as I’ve saved enough magic coins.

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